Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
