Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
