After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
