cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize