im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
