My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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