was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
did i just pee glitter
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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