i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
