No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
