it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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