ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
