Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
