i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
