I am full of burrito and curiosity
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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