In the future we'll all be gay
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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