i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he shaved USA in his pubs
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize