ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
