Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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