So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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