can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
