I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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