Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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