Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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