how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I will be naked everywhere
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
