For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
