I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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