We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dick very happy bro
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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