why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This baby is an asshole
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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