That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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