She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
