you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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