When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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