who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
