I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
