i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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