don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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