How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize