was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
