We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
