I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
