I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
kristin has been a bad kristin
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
