i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
