i barfeds in our rink
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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