Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
