weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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