And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
