i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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