When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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