someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize