Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
