he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
