ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
