The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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