If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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