I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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