Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
