just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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