It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize