You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
