I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
