He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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