i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
