the condom got lost in my hair
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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