i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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