I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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