Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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