her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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