Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.

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  (812): dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere. http://tfl.nu/598l
  Replies (20) Good night (680) Bad night (3972)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice

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  (404): girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice http://tfl.nu/q2o9
  Replies (20) Good night (718) Bad night (3757)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

  (207): View more from Maine

  OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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  (207): There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself (207): OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE (781): Sounds like a good blink 182 concert... http://tfl.nu/nai8
  Replies (27) Good night (953) Bad night (3881)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.

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  (516): I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life. http://tfl.nu/0sjl
  Replies (21) Good night (5478) Bad night (1184)
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  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
  Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (5073)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"

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  (302): this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time" http://tfl.nu/89ij
  Replies (10) Good night (1057) Bad night (1764)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.

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  (507): He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in. http://tfl.nu/mt4b
  Replies (15) Good night (3608) Bad night (1023)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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  (647): the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is. http://tfl.nu/ndxc
  Replies (8) Good night (4453) Bad night (806)
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  (347): View more from New York

  his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

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  (347): his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you. http://tfl.nu/crxb
  Replies (9) Good night (3322) Bad night (836)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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  (719): hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year. http://tfl.nu/9tpx
  Replies (3) Good night (1391) Bad night (580)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

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  (604): With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant http://tfl.nu/nhig
  Replies (5) Good night (584) Bad night (1215)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building

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  (314): My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building http://tfl.nu/5uwh
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (502)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets

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  (630): I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets http://tfl.nu/owc7
  Replies (7) Good night (1066) Bad night (586)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..

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  (336): I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain.. http://tfl.nu/5env
  Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (685)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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  (732): Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS. http://tfl.nu/p93u
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (338)

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