How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.