Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?