hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
