My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
