All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?