So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
